🌟The Power of Empathy and Dignity: Why This Work is Personal🌟
Originally Published December 8, 2020.
For some time now, I've been asked the same two questions by several people: "Why did you get into the belonging and inclusion space?" or "What was your motivation to do this type of work?" My answer has consistently been "It's deeply personal to me."
Empathy + Dignity
I was eleven years old when I first visited an orphanage. My family and I were among a group of people who went to bring gifts and cheer to children we thought were less fortunate at Christmas time. What I saw were children my age who looked just like me. There were no observable differences in how they played with us, laughed, or rushed to eat the unattended Christmas sweets we found in the cafeteria. Later during that visit, we had the opportunity to chat candidly with a caregiver and learned that there was a greater need for personal items and toiletries, like toothbrushes, deodorant, feminine hygiene products, and socks. Before then, it never occurred to me how much of a luxury everyday personal care items were, and the privilege it was to have a family and their support, whom I regularly took for granted.
That visit prompted a lot of deep feelings and "why" questions for me, and I turned to my older, very patient sister for answers. As I reflect on those conversations now, I realize that I could not have imagined the complexity of the questions I asked her. She did her best to summarize and explain years of wisdom and experience in the simplest way. She helped me understand that what I was feeling was empathy and guided me through options to put that feeling into action.
Giving What You Have, Freely
A few weeks later, with my sister's help and encouragement, we loaded up her company van with boxes of toiletries that we spent weeks collecting from friends and family. Back then, I understood that we didn't have much to give, but we shared what little resources and time we had without hesitation. I frequently revisit that memory of how my heart swelled as I mumbled to myself on the ride home about the meaning of empathy and dignity. It was at that moment that I first realized the joy of serving others.
Months turned into years, and countless community and volunteer service projects, from cleaning up beaches, painting local schools, sponsoring school uniforms, and teaching people in inner-city neighborhoods like mine how to read. Since then, I have dedicated my life to serving my community. In the years since then, I have utilized every available resource and platform to raise awareness of everyday socio-economic, racial, ethnic, gender, and identity inequities and advocate for inclusion. The work I do now is deeply personal because it is part of my identity and the values by which I live.
Finding Your Own Story
Feelings of inclusion and belonging don't begin when you start work or after completing bias training. It begins when you lean into the power of empathy and dare to be vulnerable to people who are different from you. You can grow by actively seeking out opportunities to learn how other people experience the world. Ask questions thoughtfully and take the time to listen. Accept criticism and feedback as opportunities for growth, and contribute your perspective to the conversation. It often feels a little awkward at first, but don't stop moving forward, because that means it's working! Like anything else, you will improve with practice. If you're unsure of how to get started, take Arthur Ashe's advice:
"Start Where You Are, Use What You Have, Do What You Can."
-nicarl